Just read...

This 'pretty boy', (as he referred to himself in the book often), can write! Reading this book made me watch his first movie "The Outsiders". It was such a trip.

Ornitho-what?

I'm scared of birds. Not just those that fly but all fowls in general including chicks and ostrich.  Specifically, I don't like touching them (gasp!) and I don't like them near me. Later I found out it's got a name: ornithophobia. I don't know when or how it started. They say usually an animal phobia is caused by a bad, possibly childhood experience of an attack by this animal but I have no recollection of such. In fact, there's hardly any bird encounters when I was a child because I lived in an urban jungle -- except for the occasional tiny brown sparrows that's common where I came from. Besides, these birds do not really fly near humans as they fear for their own safety.

I can and do appreciate birds though. Especially the cute and colorful ones. I also love seeing peacocks! I am pretty sure I would enjoy bird watching and I hope to get a chance to do it one day. But only if they are at a "safe" distance. I also don't like looking them in the eye, even in photos. I know it's irrational, but that's why they call it a phobia, right?

When I moved to Singapore, I was amazed at the many varieties and colors of birds I have seen so far. Although I would not reccomend this as a place to live in for someone with a severe bird phobia 'coz they're everywhere here and closely co-existing with the humans. I used to wake up in our first house to a bird in our kitchen, flying in through the always open window on the 8th floor. They even have a bird park here, although I haven't had the courage to go there yet because I heard that some of the birds are not caged and I can't imagine the scene I would cause if one of them decide to get friendly with me. One day maybe..one day...

Sometimes I wonder if my bird phobia started after watching that classic Hitchcock movie "The Birds". We watched it in Film class in college but I don't remember being very afraid of it. It is about this small town, in California I think, suddenly attacked by throngs (or do we say "flock"?) of black birds. It is still one of the creepiest movies I've ever seen though but hey, it's Hitchcock.

The worst public display of my bird phobia happened on my wedding day. It was at the reception when they asked us to hold a pair of doves, let them kiss, and then set them free. I had to beg them to let us skip that ritual but the photographer insisted it was 'necessary'. So what they did to help me out was, they wrapped my bird in one of the peach table napkins so I could hold it. Poor bird, I was supposed to let it fly but I was so creeped out I literally threw it towards my husband. It hardly made it out of the napkin to free its wings just in time before any untoward bird accident happened.  The snapshot of that moment though was priceless and it still brings me laughs whenever I look at it.

So would I like this fear conquered or cured? Sure. But if it means "facing my fears" to overcome it as I heard they do in phobia therapies, I say no, thank you. Besides, in terms of phobia scale of 1 to 5, mine is probably just at 2.5 to 3.  I'm still more afraid of rats.

Quotable quotes...

"NO is a complete sentence."

-Jaycee Duggard, on one of the things she learned in therapy.

Just read...

As a mother, a woman, and a human being, this is a very painful read.